Diary of a Mom’s Nap

i-give-up-

I love to nap. I really do.  There is not much that is better than some time snuggled up in your bed in the middle of the afternoon.  I have older children now, and so I am able to to get naps a whole lot more often than when I had a house full of babies and toddlers.

Today was a day that I was going to be GUARANTEED a little nap time.  The hubby is home, some of my responsibility was alleviated for the the day, and I had some free time on a cool day.  All this added up to NAP TIME, and not just a 15 minute power nap.  This day was just begging for a couple hours of solid sleep.  Considering my night sleep has been quite disrupted for the last several nights, I needed this nap!

I walked in the door, ate a piece of cheese forgoing lunch, and headed for my bed.

1:42 –  Whew! This is great. I am going to sleep forever! I can’t wait.  I will turn on a audio book, and out like a light.
1:45 – Someone should take the dogs out.  They keep barking. Dad makes girl take out dogs.  SO NOW PEACE….
1:49 – Wow, the birds are really loud.
1:52 – What is wrong with the dogs now?
1:54 – Well, my guess is they are barking at the children who are being as loud as humanly possible.
2:00 – Holy smokes they don’t have to be that loud. I want them to have fun, but do they have to have THAT much fun?
2:02 – I really should not have drank that much soda.
2:04 – I really don’t think they should be THAT loud. How much fun can they REALLY be having?
2:10 – I will ignore them. I will ignore them. I will ignore them…. but I am really, really regretting that soda.
2:15 – Ok, I have peed, they are not being SUPER loud, I will ignore the birds, the dogs…
2:19 – I could kill them all, and bury them in the backyard… it would be easy. The garden soil is soft. Easy digging.
2:22 – Dirt. Dig. Garden….  Shoot! I forgot to order my seeds from Redwood Seeds.  What am I going to do about tomato seeds now that Penny retired….
2:25 – Oh man, I still haven’t slept, but I think I have to pee again. I should NOT have drank all that soda….I look out the bathroom window.  Why is JP walking through the backyard?  He NEVER does that…. Oh well.. I WILL lay down and go to sleep.
2:31 – Success. I am sleeping
2:33 – Loud child at back door, stomps down hallway, burst through my door.  Damirah is hurt.  She fell in the mud.  Daddy sent me. Out of bed I go.

I lumber out the back door and across the yard, and find Damirah and her rescue contingent.  They send me for the car, and I go pick them up.

2:40 – I decide that D is not too hurt, and JP is here. I can lay back down!  I WILL NAP!  I give instructions for homework and chores, and I lay back down.  Set sleep timer on audible book for 15 minutes and lie awake until is goes off.  Kids are loud.  Dogs are barking at kids. Birds are squawking at barking dogs, kids yelling at dogs for barking….roasted weenies and love birdspenny for dinner sounds good.

2:55 D’s mom shows up, and I figured I should go talk to her.  I go talk.  She and Hubby say, “You should REALLY go lay down.” I think they meant “Wow, you look terrible!”  I go sit on couch.  I am falling asleep sitting up, maybe I SHOULD do lay down…

FIRST, I have to referee homework and chores and defiant children who are SUPPOSED to be doing homework and chores. THEN, I am determined to lay back down.

3:45 I finally just get BACK out of bed.  It seems that the homework was done, and chores began.  I listened to an eight year old belt out “Am I am Man? or am I a Muppet?” so many times that my eye is twitching.  The dog is barking at the broom and another child is scolding the singer for singing.  I GIVE UP.

I just don’t understand why I am not refreshed after my nap….

Time to cook dinner and get laundry going… and IF anyone says…. “I don’t understand why you are wanting to go to bed at 8:30!”  I may just kill him….

Sorry Honey, but you have been WARNED!

 

 

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