mene mene tekel upharsin


Hi. My name is Tancy, and I am obviously a slow learner.

I have been struggling with one particular area in my life.  It is difficult, and frankly, I just do not like it.

However, I KNOW it is what we are called to.  He has put us there without a question, but I continually rebel. I just want a break! I want to run away.  I want to quit.  It has been heavy, heavy on my mind. It affects me in so many ways, and I struggle against the weight.

Praying for God’s will is SO hard.  When I pray for a situation, I try to pray for His will, and yet I struggle with the idea that His will is most likely different than what I think is best.

You would think that by this point in my life, I would know better, but I am a pretty stubborn girl.

I pray for His will secretly *knowing* what HIS will should be because obviously I know what’s best. How arrogant is that!  My pride is out of control, and the old man must be put down,,

I keep praying, and knowing that He has put me here, and he has not moved me, yet I keep praying for a move.  Like I said, I am pretty stubborn.

Well, last night I was sitting in an amazing service listen to a Spirit-filled preacher speak on loving people.   He was talking about difficult people and loving like Jesus, and in the midst of his message He said this…

“When God call there is no rest in quitting, only in finishing.” 

It was like a giant hand writing on the wall.  He might has well have called out my name and pointed at the words.  This was for me.

I guess maybe I was not listening close enough in prayer because God knew I needed to hear it from a pulpit with a few hundred people listening to the message for me.

Quitting will not get me rest. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I want to run away from the hurt and pain, but HE put me there. He put me here in this place for a reason, for a season that HE determines and I am to obediently serve.

I am so thankful for a patient God, because this stubborn girl take a while to get it sometimes.

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